How To: Date A Stripper

Play your cards right and you might even get to see her naked!

January 2004

PICK THE LUCKY GIRL
It’s a stripper’s job to be hit on by drooling idiots, so you’ll need to stand out from the pack. Visit the club no more than once a week to establish yourself as a semi-regular. “It’s a turnoff if it seems like strip clubs are a habit for you,” says former stripper Lily Burana, author of Strip City: A

Stripper’s Farewell Journey Across America. She suggests going with a small group of pals—at least one of whom is a girl. “It’ll show the stripper that your friends are cool with what she does,” Burana says. Make sure she knows you’re there to see her—buy a few lap dances and don’t show interest in the other girls. Let her steer the conversation; then, when you’re ready to make your move, be direct. “Never use the word date,” Burana warns. “That’s code for a trick.” Aw, but we love magic!

MAKE HER FEEL NORMAL
Once you’ve established that your intentions are strictly of the non-whoring variety, settle on a place. Since she’s already spending the better part of her week wearing high heels in a loud club, suggest something more low-key. If “Tiffany” is an art history major, take her to the Van Gogh exhibit in town. Once you’re out, prove you’re interested in more than just her body and its unique ability to twirl around greased poles. “Reassure her that this isn’t just some fantasy thing,” says Dawn, a dancer at New York City’s famed Scores strip club. You should get to know the woman behind the G-string, but when it comes to professional inquiries, tread lightly. “Don’t pump her for gory details,” Burana warns. Resist the urge to be judgmental or ask her about getting a “real job.”

BE READY FOR THE RIDE
Jealousy is naturally going to come into play. After all, your friends have already seen her naked. And gyrating. Multiple times. For 10 bucks. But don’t entertain any pipe dreams of making an honest woman of her. “Unless you’re prepared to replace her stripping income, you don’t get to say anything about it,” says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a California-based psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. Keep the envy in check by remembering that you have something that her paying customers don’t. “She gets hit on all night and then comes home to you,” Burana says. “There’s a lot of competition for her, but you won.” Just be clear on what she will and won’t let customers do for money, and remember: It’s just a job, no different than when you mop off the peep window.