NUDE GIRLS EXPLAINS HOW TO:
twice the sex with half the monotony!
DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE
As a commitment leper, you may not be able to handle
a real relationship, but you can certainly pull
off a couple of half-assed ones. “Don’t
let anyone tell you dating two women isn’t
kosher,” says Lynn Harris, author of relationship
guide Breakup Girl to the Rescue! “You’re
a free agent until you have the Big Talk—so
put it off as long as possible.” Start both
affairs around the same time; that way one girl
won’t sense a change when another arrives
on the scene. Your ideal targets are party girls,
so forgo the virgin spinster librarians in your
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
To establish yourself as a no-strings-attached boy
toy, be nice—but not candy-and-flowers nice.
“Call each girl only a few times a week,”
advises dating coach Ron Louis, coauthor of How
to Succeed With Women. Tempted to e-mail her the
hilarious details of your commute to work? Resist.
Feel jealous when she mentions other guys? Don’t.
Holding her to standards you have no intention of
honoring will make her notice the disparity. Instead,
be as elusive as the yeti—you’ve already
got the back hair—and don’t see either
girl more than once a week.
COVER YOUR TRACKS
It happened to Jack Tripper every episode, and it’ll
happen to you: the comically awkward misunderstanding.
Remain calm. “You’re with Girl A, and
you bump into Girl B,” Louis says. “It’s
simple: Politely introduce them with no explanation,
and move on.” Since there’s been no
discussion of commitment, you’re in the clear—later
you can tell each one that the other was just a
friend. Avoid the ol’ calling-her-the-wrong-name
snafu by giving both girls the same term of endearment,
like Cutie, Angel, or Doublewide. Chicks dig that
lovey-dovey stuff anyway.
MAKE YOUR ESCAPE
In order to avoid an ugly confrontation—or
uglier car-egging—get out while the gettin’s
good. “Your window of prime juggling opportunity
is three to five weeks,” Louis says. “The
earlier you break things off, the better your chances
to avoid hurt feelings.” The safest bet: Bore
her out of the relationship. Take her to a bar to
watch a Senior PGA event, stop feigning laughter
at her jokes, develop a fanatical love of genealogy.
Do it to both, or do it to one and upgrade the other
to girlfriend status. Just remember—now you’ll
have to tell her your real name.